Update on Today’s Writing.
I was at my mum’s and started flipping through Kyo Maclear’s book Unearthing, about plants, gardens, and tangled roots. On the third page, there’s a line that left me wondering. In it, Maclear reflects on how her own failure to grow plants transferred in 2019. She describes the crucial change:
“When I stopped attributing every little event to my own doing and realized I did not have control (the opposite of a storyteller’s mindset), the plants began to grow” (p. 3).
I know the feeling, but I feel it with words.
I know the art of writing involves an attempt at control. Part of why words can be so torturous is because we’re trying to make them perfect. But in this book, I’m increasingly convinced that the trick is to give up control—to let things come, to recognize that there is agency in the words, in the fingers, and in the process that isn’t merely a reflection of the mind’s control. The result of all this hard work reads like something that comes out of control, but the output has little resemblance to the process.
I wrote a section on this. It’s a bit like Peter Elbow’s metaphor of “growing and cooking.” One grows a garden, where things are messy and uncontrolled. Later, one cooks a meal. But even in cooking, there’s a lot that is out of control. Or, maybe, much of cooking is based on practical knowledge. Certainly, this is De Certeau’s point. Writing is both embodied and practical, of course. The point, it’s not fully controlled.
With all that written in shitty first draft rough sketch, I then turned to a section on cane toads. I’d written five versions of a cane toad hopping into the room I slept in. I worked to cut and revise them into one canonical section.
My point?
Cane toads in Colombia are also known as sapos. Sapo is a colloquial term for snitch and spy, often spoken with venom. Sapos often die young in a country at war. Is writing ethnography an exercise in getting into places one does not belong? Are we not professional strangers, but spies, tattletales, snitches? Anthropologists are often mistaken for spies. But, I don’t think that feels fair. Yet, it does reflex a lot of our professional anxieties.
All in all, with about an hour’s work, little abstract thought, and certainly not much planning, I wrote 800 new words on writing as gardening without control. I also revised and condensed several drafts I’d written over the years bout a cane toad into a tighter scene of about 3,000 words. So, let’s say, Day Three of NaNoWriMo, I got about 4,000 words done. Makes up for not really doing much yesterday.